Review - Morrissey

Morrissey
World Peace Is None Of Your Business

This Charming Man. That was a good song, wasn't it? I mean, that was one of the greatest pop singles of all time. The Smiths were a fantastic band, and half of their brilliance was down to Morrissey's lyrics. You'll have to keep reminding yourself of that as you listen to this album, but it will be hard, because listening to World Peace Is None Of Your Business is like listening to Paul McCartney's entire solo career - it's so toxically bad that it seems to retroactively ruin everything good he did. I mean it's really, really bad. The band he's got backing him up play very well, and that should make it better, but it doesn't for the same reason that all the unnecessary ornamentation on Billy Bragg's last album actually made it worse; it just emphasises that no matter how many session musicians he hires, Morrissey can't hide the fact that his lyrics - otherwise known as the only reason anyone ever gave a shit about Morrissey - are terrible. I tried to type in some examples of these lyrics just now, but my hand spontanaeously rose from the keyboard and tried to gouge out my eyes in some kind of reflexive act of self-preservation. How Soon is Now, though - that was good. That was a really great song. This is hard for me to say, because I like Morrisey. His views on the Falklands are misguided and reactionary, and he may be a racist, but he's also one of the few to have the balls to tell the truth about the meat industry, and that is something I respect. Still, all the good deeds in the world couldn't make this album any better. If Nelson Mandela had made this album, they would have put him back in prison. I hear Marie Stopes clinics have given up conventional abortions, and started just playing this album to pregnant women in the hopes that foetuses will hang themselves with their own umbilical cords. Playing Mozart to children is supposed to make them smarter. If you play this album to your child, it will grow up to vote UKIP. Still, The Queen Is Dead was a great album, wasn't it? Really great.

Rating: 1/10

Heaven knows I'm miserable now.