Bring Me the Horizon
Sempiternal
I'm kind of ambivalent about BMTH. Sure, most of their output is a sea of rancid cockdrippings, but their last album was actually kind of ok, and I quite like the singer's voice. Plus, my sister keeps telling me that their new album is pretty good, so I decided to give it a listen. Here's a detailed explanation of why it's terrible.
1. The lyrics. Apparently, Oli Sykes is "surrounded by vicious circles". What does that even mean? Are they concentric circles? Or is he surrounded by a circle that is itself made up of circles? What kind of geometrical nightmare is this? That's pretty representative of the lyrics on this album. Adolescent, whiny shite.
Still, though, all metal bands have shit lyrics - that's practically a requirement. It's only a problem if you can hear them. Which brings us to reason number two.
2. The vocals. Thanks to Sykes' perfect enunciation, every godawful, emo, sixth-form word is as clear as a bell, if that bell was made of shit and talentlessness and the broken dreams of orphaned puppies.
3. The song. The one song. That they play over and over again, with different lyrics and titles, for fifty-seven minutes. Seriously - by the fourth or fifth song, I could predict exactly where the slow part with the gang-shouted vocals would be, exactly where the half-arsed electronics would come in...fuck this record. Fuck it in the arse with a cactus until it promises to stop existing.
Choice lyrics:
"Can you feel my heart?"
No. No I can't. Your heart is inside you.
"Should I sink or swim, or simply disappear?"
The third one.
"Go to Hell for Heaven's sake"
Ha! Do you see what he did there? Do you see? Get it? DO YOU? DO YOU SEE WHAT HE DID THERE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHkill me now
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